


There'll be no clear skies (if I lose you baby)

by FranCV



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, G!p Lexa, Unplanned Pregnancy, clexa baby, the first chapter is full of sin im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 05:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8044744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FranCV/pseuds/FranCV
Summary: "I was wondering if you could pick Marie up from my place around 6:30 pm today, I... I have a date tonight."And it only took those 5 words for Lexa to feel her world crashing down around her.Clarke has a date tonight.And not with her.  OrEven after breaking up, love is still in the air.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> HI guys, i have to begin this note apologizing for dissapearing haha school is killing me and i have cero free time, today is the only day i can say i dont have homework to do lmao  
> Next week i dont have classes so ill try to update "Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor" soon!
> 
> PLEASE READ THIS: most of this chapter is in "past" which means nearly 2 years before the "present" basically like a long flashback, and if you have any question leave it on the comments and i'll answer it right away 
> 
> This idea has been in my mind for ages and i really hope y'all will like it :)  
> As always, im sorry for any mistake.

** Present  **

 

It was Friday morning, probably around 6 am, and Lexa was out for a run with her earphones on and her music playlist on shuffle. She had a big case yesterday she wasn't able to win, and she's not that mad because even she knew her client deserved at least a few years of prison, but she needs a distraction. She stopped in a red light and used her palm to wipe some of the sweat from her forehead. 

 

She runs until she's at the café a few streets away from her apartment and buys herself a coffee and a slice of chocolate cake. She thanks the already known cashier giving the young girl a smile and leaving her change as tips. 

 

Lexa was walking back to her home, not really caring about anything else besides getting there soon to eat her generous breakfast, when her phone started ringing in the pocket of her running shorts. Thinking it was a possible client, she answered the call without taking the time to look at the screen of her phone to check on the ID of the call. 

 

"Lexa Woods." She says with what people call her "business voice" when she answered her phone. 

 

"Hey Lexa." Lexa gulps. She forgets how to speak for a few seconds as she keeps walking to her apartment. "Good morning." 

 

"M-Morning Clarke, is everything okay?" The green eyed woman asks trying not to think about the worst possible scenario, Clarke never calls her so early, saying that she isn't a morning person is an understatement. 

 

"Yeah, don't worry," she younger woman says from the other side of the phone and Lexa could hear a small giggle in the background. "I was just wondering at what time you get off of work today." 

 

Lexa frowns as she enters the building and gives the receptionist a small nod. Clarke knows at what time she's off every day, she has made sure to tell her in case she needs her help with something. She presses the elevator button and waits for the doors to open. "Hmm, at 6 pm? Like, every other day, Clarke." Lexa answers and hears the familiar ding that lets her know the elevator is here. 

 

She steps in and hopes her phone signal won't be affected or else she'll have to wait until reaching the 8th floor to call Clarke again. 

 

"Right, sorry," the girl says and laughs softly. Lexa couldn't help but let her lips curve up forming a little smile when she heard Clarke's laugh. "I was, uh, just wondering if you had your night free today." 

_What?_

 

"I-I do," Lexa answers cursing at herself because she let the familiar butterflies on her belly come back. "Why?" 

 

Lexa opens the door of her apartment and when she sees the small toys on the carpet of her living room and the few stuffed animals on the couch, she makes a mental note to clean before she goes to bed today. She has been really busy this week. The brunette leaves the paper bag that contains her breakfast in the kitchen and waits for the woman she'll always love to answer her question. 

 

She walks back to the living room avoiding to step in any toy and sits in the couch with her earphones still on. 

 

Lexa doesn't know how much time has passed when Clarke's voice comes back. 

 

"Hey, sorry, I think a little someone heard your voice because my phone was on speaker and wanted some attention." 

 

Lexa laughs with a smile on her face and rubs her sweaty forehead. "How's she today?" She asks. 

 

"She's fine, apparently with a lot of energy today." Clarke answers and Lexa can hear her young daughter babbling things she obviously can't understand, probably in her mother's arms. 

 

"Will I see her tomorrow?" 

 

"Yeah, hmm, 'bout that," Clarke begins and Lexa can feel the disappointment already. She hasn't seen her daughter since last Saturday, like Lexa does every week when she and Clarke take their daughter to the park for the afternoon, Lexa does get a daily picture her ex lover sends her but she misses having her little girl in her arms. "Remember I asked you if you had your afternoon free?" 

 

"Yes Clarke, I remember," Lexa says and sighs. 

 

"I was wondering if you could pick Marie up from my place around 6:30 pm today, I... I have a date tonight." 

 

And it only took those 5 words for Lexa to feel her world crashing down around her. 

 

Clarke has a date tonight. 

 

And not with her. 

 

But of course Lexa knows she shouldn't feel like this. Clarke broke up with her nearly a year ago, clearly because she doesn't feel the same way Lexa still does, before their daughter was even born. 

 

Lexa feels like as if her throat was a desert and she has to cough a few times before she finds her voice again. She can't really say her heart is broken by the words that left her ex's mouth, because she's sure it has been in tiny pieces for months now. 

 

"Lexa are you okay?" Clarke asks truly concerned. Lexa nods but then remembers she can't see her. 

 

"Y-Yeah, I was just..." Lexa stutters, "I was drinking coffee and didn't realize it was too hot." Good one. 

 

"Okay," Clarke simply says knowing the woman was lying to her. "So what do you say? She can sleep at your place if you feel comfortable. Or I could just ask my mother..." 

 

"No!" Lexa says and coughs again. "I mean, no Clarke, is okay, of course I want to spend time with my daughter. And I'd love to if you let me look after her for the night too." 

 

"Great! Thanks! I owe you one," Lexa closes her eyes and sighs again trying not to be mad at herself for thinking her one true love wanted to spend time with her. God she feels like an idiot. Clearly Clarke won't ever give her a second chance to prove that she has changed. "I will pack her things in her diaper bag, are you really sure you don't mind her sleeping over at your place? You can drop her off at my mom's place if you don't want her to spend the night." 

 

"No Clarke. Besides you know your mom still doesn't like me, I don't think I can handle death glares on Friday nights," she tries to joke and makes Clarke laugh softly. That sound alone makes her feel just a little bit better. "Give my baby a kiss from me and tell her I love her okay?" Lexa stands up and walks to the bathroom. "Goodbye."

 

"See you later! Thanks again." 

 

Lexa is the one who ends the call, she takes off her earphones and her phone from her pocket admiring the picture on her screen of the day Marie was born. Lexa takes her clothes off and steps into the shower hoping the hot water will help her erase her thoughts of her ex, and the woman she still loves, with someone else. 

 

And her coffee, with the barista's phone number written in the white cup, and her slice of chocolate cake are left on her kitchen counter long, long forgotten.

 

 

*

** Past **

 

Clarke looks at her reflection in the mirror of her bathroom with a big smile on her face. This is the day she's finally getting the job of her dreams. She hears her best friend calling her name from the living room of their shared apartment and after looking at herself just one more time to check that her teeth are as white as pearls, she leaves the bathroom closing the door behind her.

 

Clarke takes her purse and sunglasses from her bed, just where she left them before getting into the bathroom, and makes her way to the living room where Octavia is patiently waiting for her on the couch staring down at her phone. She's probably texting Raven, their other friend who's currently at work in the mechanic taller she owns. 

 

"Rae says she's taking us tonight for drinks if you get this job." Octavia says, she locks her phone, shoves it inside her purse and looks up at her blond friend. 

 

"Tell her then that we're definitely going out tonight."

 

Octavia laughs and interlocks her arm on Clarke's as they leave the apartment and the building to catch a cab. Neither of them wants to walk to the subway station. Even when it's only a few streets down. 

 

Their latin driver parks his yellow car just outside the gallery Clarke is hoping to get her job today. She knows she just got out of college graduated with her art major, but hopefully if they like her enough she'll get the chance to be the owner's assistant. And if he sees her paintings, especially the abstracts ones she's so, so proud of, he might give her a chance to show to the world, or at least a few people of New York, how good everyone says she is. 

 

"You know if you get this job it'd mean that your mom will stop thinking it was a mistake for you to drop med school?" Octavia asks as Clarke pays the driver who leaves right after she closes the door with the loud radio playing songs in Spanish. 

 

"Yeah," Clarke shrugs. "I still need to get this job O, and remember this gallery's exhibitions are always just photographs, but hopefully the owner will give me a chance in a few months." Octavia opens the door and it smells so good inside she closed her eyes to fully enjoy the sweet aroma of vanilla. Exactly like the cappuccino they had this morning on their apartment. Just before Raven had to leave.

 

A tall man greets them with a sweet smile on his face. 

 

"You must be Clarke," he says. "I'm Lincoln, the boss as everyone says." He laughs, hoping the girls in front of him will relax. Especially the blue eyed. Both of them look stressed. 

 

"That's me," Clarke says and extends her hand to shake his. "Clarke Griffin, trying to get a job to prove her mom wrong." 

 

Now everyone in the room laughs. 

 

"This way Clarke, I'd like to ask you a few questions." 

 

Clarke nods and follows Lincoln to the back of the gallery where she presumes he has his office. She looks back to her friend and Octavia smiles to her, gives her thumbs up and mouths, "you got this." 

 

Clarke literally hugs her new boss, who's definitely better than the old lady at the diner she worked as a waitress since the first year of college, when he tells her she got the job. She needs to come on Monday morning to open the gallery and greet the possible costumers with a big smile on her face. Clarke knows she can handle that. And she gets off at 7 pm every day. She can't ask for a better way to end her week.

 

Octavia wasn't able to stop congratulating her friend telling Clarke of how proud of her she is. They've known each other since they were kids and seeing her friend finally doing what she loves again makes her happy. 

 

The younger brunette spent the ride on the subway back to their home sharing her opinions with Clarke of the photographies she stared at while the blonde was inside the small office on her interview, Clarke admitted she was too focused on getting the job that she didn't properly look at the exhibition. She makes a mental note to do it on Monday morning though. 

 

Octavia asked Clarke if she knew who the photographer is, but the only thing the blonde knows is that this mysterious person doesn't go to the gallery very often and publishes their works as A.W. 

 

"Don't tell Raven I got the job yet," Clarke says as she slips off her coat and hangs it on a chair when they finally step into their apartment just a few hours after leaving it.

 

"Why not?" Octavia frowns. "I don't like keeping things from her, she's my girlfriend Clarke." 

 

Clarke playfully rolls her eyes. 

 

"It's not like that," she breaths out. "I just wanna see her face when she gets home." 

 

"Ohhhh," Octavia laughs. "Right. Sorry. That totally makes sense. You know I don't like lying to her." 

 

"Of course O," Clarke smiles sweetly to her friend. "What do you want for dinner? We can't go drinking with empty stomachs and Raven is getting back soon." 

 

"I forgot you were the mom friend." Octavia jokes and sits on the kitchen counter after grabbing a glass of water and looks at Clarke while she takes a sip. "I dunno," she says after finishing her glass. "Let's just order some takeover." 

 

"Well then I want Chinese." Clarke says as she makes her way to her bedroom to change her pencil skirt and blouse into some more comfortable clothes, she decides she's going to take a shower before they go to the club. 

 

"Whatever you say, woman." Octavia says laughing. She takes her phone from the pocket of her jacket she still has on and calls their usual Chinese restaurant. 

 

\\\

 

"Lexa you need to get out of bed." The tall woman says, she opens the curtains of her roommate's room and opens the window, causing the not so sleeping woman on the bed to loudly groan and cover her face with her bedsheets trying to avoid the sun light on her face. "And you should shower. Like right now." 

 

Lexa groans again and mumbles something from under the covers. Obviously Anya is not able to understand. She sighs in frustration.

 

"What did you say?" Anya tries again hoping her friend will get up from her bed where she has been since she returned from Texas three days ago.

 

Lexa mumbles the same thing again but doesn't make an effort to move. 

 

"God you're such a child. You can't use the excuse of jet lag on me ever again." Anya says. "Get up. Come on. Right now or I'm taking your camera and canceling the new exhibition." 

 

That phrase does catch the woman's attention and she slowly appears from under the covers of her bed. 

 

"You're so annoying." Lexa mumbles again as she rubs her eyes hoping to avoid the light coming from outside. 

 

Anya laughs. "Tell me something I don't know." She looks at her friend who still doesn't open her eyes and yawns. "Come on, it's like 5 pm and we're going out with Lincoln and Luna to get some drinks." 

 

"Last time you said some drinks you woke up with a random woman on your bed." Lexa jokes and finally opens her eyes to look at her long time friend. Anya throws her a pillow straight into her face. "Why'd you do that? I'm awake!" 

 

"I know." Anya says with a smirk on her face. "It was for being an ass." 

 

"Whatever." Lexa rolls her eyes and extends her arm to get her phone from the nigh  table. 5:38 pm. 3 missed calls. 7 new messages from her ex _. Not this again,_ she thinks, as she quickly looks at the unanswered messages. It's always the same anyway. Every time Lexa is in town, Costia says she misses her, that they should go out and give their long broken relationship another try. 

 

They go out for dinner, drinks or something. They go back to Costia's apartment, they have sex for hours until they're both exhausted and they end up fighting until Lexa comes back from her trips around the country.

 

But it's familiar. It's what they've been doing since they met the year they graduated from college, and it's all Lexa has known. Costia has been her first real girlfriend who accepted her not minding about anything at all. Especially regarding Lexa's crotch or her past. Costia has accepted her for who she is and that's probably the only reason why Lexa always comes back crawling to her arms.

 

"You have 5 minutes or I am leaving without you." 

 

And with that, Anya closes the door behind her back making Lexa groan again and cover her face with a pillow. Lexa was about to just roll to her side and go back to sleep but she knows she should get up and have a good night with her friends. She haven't seen them in a while.

 

So she does. She rubs her eyes as she makes her way to the bathroom ignoring her still buzzing phone in her night table. She takes a quick shower and gets dressed with her favorite jeans, a t-shirt from an old rock band and her leather jacket. 

 

She finds Anya in the kitchen eating a sandwich and looking at her with a smirk on her lips.

 

"I thought you were never coming out of your cave." 

 

Lexa laughs. 

 

"Shut up Anya," she replies and takes the other half of her friend's sandwich, the taller girl slaps her hand and Lexa laughs louder. 

 

"Let's go before I kill you for stealing my food. I do not want to spend the rest of my life in prison." Anya says and Lexa rolls her eyes with her mouth still full of tuna sandwich. "Are you catching a ride with me? I might be the sober driver today." 

 

"Drama queen." Lexa says and grabs the keys of her motorcycle and shakes them near Anya's face. "And no, I missed my baby." 

 

Anya laughs. "I swear you love that death machine more than anything else in this world." 

 

"Well my dear friend, you're not wrong." 

 

\\\

 

"If I knew I'd be third wheeling you guys, I'd have denied the offer to come here." Clarke screamed hoping her friends, that were too busy eating each other's faces to pay any attention to her, will hear her over the music. 

 

Octavia does and she laughs as she ends the kiss with her girlfriend after softly pecking her lips one more time. 

 

"Sorry Clarkey, haven't seen this one all day." Raven says as she wraps her arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and brings Octavia closer to her chest. 

 

Clarke rolls her eyes and laughs after sipping her drink. "You saw her when we had breakfast this morning." 

 

Raven shrugs. "But I was hoping to see her before we came here, something came up with one the cars we're fixing and I had to stay for a few more hours." She pouts and Clarke laughs again. Octavia leaves a soft kiss on her girlfriend's neck. "Oh and hey! Congrats on getting the job, you deserved it!"

 

"So dramatic Raven," Clarke says and looks at her friends wrapped in each other's arms wishing she could find her special someone as well. "And thanks, I am so happy to quit at the diner." 

 

Her friends laugh. 

 

"I bet." 

 

"Hey, wanna go dancing?" Octavia asks looking up at her girlfriend's eyes. Raven smiles at her. 

 

"Sure babe. You're gonna be okay for a few minutes, Clarke?" 

 

Clarke nods and drinks what was left on her cup in one long gulp. She needs another drink. And then she might go to have a few dances with strangers. Tonight is just about having fun. 

 

She looks at her friends disappear between the sweaty bodies on the club as she places a strand of blond hair back behind her ear. She contemplates her options, she could go to the bar and ask for another rum in the rocks, she could go to the dance floor and share a few dances with people she would probably never see again. Or, she could just leave, because after briefly checking her phone, is only 9 pm and she could go home and catch up with the new season of the show she's currently obsessed with.

 

Clarke chooses option one. She's going to get another drink and then catch a cab to go back home. 

 

However, when she removes her from the direction her friends disappeared to look at the bar, she finds a pair of green eyes, the same shade of green she used in the last painting she made, staring at her. Clarke feels her cheeks starting to warm up along with her ears. She gives the stranger, a girl dressed in nothing but black clothes, a shy smile and it is probably what gives her the confidence to say something to her friends, yes definitely her friends, Clarke thinks, because the three of them literally cheered when the girl stood up from her chair and made her way to Clarke. 

 

"Hey," she says and Clarke is surprised because her voice is so, so soft and nothing compared to what she expected.

 

"Hi," Clarke whispers and smiles shyly again. "I'm Clarke." 

 

"Lexa," the girl says in front of her. "Can I buy you another drink?" She must have noticed the empty cup in front of her, so Clarke nods eagerly with the smile still on her face. "I'll be right back then, Clarke." Lexa says with a smile of her own and Clarke watches as she walks back to the bar and speaks to the barman. 

 

She's back faster than Clarke expected. And with a rum in the rocks in one hand, and another for herself Clarke presumes. 

 

"How did you know what I was drinking?" Clarke asks with a smirk on her face after she takes a sip of her drink loving the feeling of it burning as it makes its way down her throat.

 

Lexa laughed as she sat in the chair Raven used before, in front of Clarke. "I asked the barman. He said he doesn't forget what a pretty girl asks. But," she takes a long sip of her own cup. "I told him to back off." Lexa says as she bites her bottom lip and looks straight into Clarke's blue eyes. 

 

Clarke suddenly feels some confidence on her, so she tries to flirt back with the girl sitting in front of her and says, "Oh yeah? Why?" She smirks when she notices Lexa nervously rubbing the back of her neck. 

 

"Because I already laid my eyes on you," she answers still staring into Clarke's eyes. "Would you... Would you like to dance with me?" 

 

"Sure." Clarke answers smiling. "Let me finish this first." She points to her drink and Lexa nods but doesn't make any effort to finish her own cup. 

 

An empty glass later, Clarke stands up from her chair and grabs Lexa's hand noticing how sweaty it is. Lexa can feel the excitement running through her veins as Clarke guides her to the dance floor passing between sweaty bodies and trying to ignore the people making out around her. Just thinking about dancing with the beautiful blond haired woman in front of her makes her feel extra excited and she prays to whoever is up there to help her to avoid making look herself look like a freak by getting a hard on in the middle of a crowded night club. 

 

Clarke takes both of Lexa's hands when she sees the girl standing in front of her hesitating to make a move, and she places them on her hips just before wrapping her own arms around the taller girl's neck. She gives her a smile as she begins to move with the beat of the loud music enjoying the company Lexa is giving her. 

 

A few songs later Clarke can feel Lexa is finally relaxed and is enjoying herself just as much as Clarke is. They give each other's smiles, but when Clarke's turn into a smirk, Lexa knows she is in trouble. 

 

Suddenly out of nowhere, the blonde turns around and tries to grind down on Lexa's lap, causing the taller girl to gasp and push the blue eyed girl away as if her skin was burning her, Lexa's skin do feel like it is on fire though but in a good way. Clarke turns around again to look at Lexa with a frown on her face, but when she sees how hard the brunette is biting her lip and avoiding to look at her, the confusion Clarke was feeling turns into concern.

 

She stands on the tip of her toes and speaks to Lexa's ear, hoping the girl will hear her over the loud music surrounding them. "Hey, you okay?" She asks and sends a shiver down Lexa's spine. 

 

"Y-Yeah, I..." Lexa closes her eyes when she feels Clarke's arms wrapping around her neck again. "M-Maybe I... Maybe I should go."

 

Clarke leaves an open mouth kiss just under Lexa's jawline. "Why?" She asks. "We're having fun." 

 

 _Yeah, but maybe too much_ , Lexa thinks as she begins to feel the very much familiar sensation of her pants getting tighter between her legs with each second that passes. She takes a deep breath as she tries to calm down but she fails miserably when Clarke gently pushes her until she's trapped between a wall and the blonde in front of her. 

 

Blue eyes stare into her green ones and Lexa feels like her legs are going to give up. 

 

Lexa pretty much thinks she died the moment her lips touched Clarke's.

 

But when she remembers her really big problem, she gently pushes the blonde away with her hands on her hips. 

 

"I... I'm so sorry Clarke, but I don't think I'm what you're looking for," Lexa whispers and suddenly her new vans are really interesting. She stares at them and takes a deep breath. Clarke keeps looking at her and Lexa wonders how come she hasn't noticed the tent in front of her pants. "Don't get me wrong, you're really, really beautiful, but I... I-I have to go." 

 

Lexa looks one more time into the beautiful blue eyes that are still looking for hers and she turns around to leave the club. She mentally high fives herself for not drinking more than one cup of orange vodka and feeling sober enough to drive her motorcycle back to her apartment. Or maybe she'll call Costia and hopefully she can help her with the problem inside her underwear. 

 

She takes a deep breath as she exits the club and excuses herself from the people that want to get inside at the same time she's leaving. Lexa looks for her keys on her pockets and is when she finally finds them when Lexa hears her name being called. 

 

"Lexa, wait!" Someone says and the green eyed girl recognizes the voice immediately. Clarke's voice is even more raspy now that she can hear it properly. 

 

Lexa turns around slowly hoping the cold night air will make her erection disappear. 

 

"Yes, Clarke?" Lexa asks, Clarke walks closer to her and stares into her eyes. "Listen, I..." 

 

"Hey, is okay," the girl in front of her says as she wraps her arms around Lexa's waist. 

 

Lexa takes a deep breath as she feels her body touching Clarke's. "Clarke, I'm not... I'm not like you." 

 

The shorter girl looks at her and playfully raises an eyebrow. Of course she noticed, Lexa thinks. "If you're going to call yourself a freak or something like that, I'm gonna have to stop you right there." Clarke says and Lexa smiles softly. 

 

"This probably isn't a conversation to have in the middle of the street at 11 pm." Lexa says. 

 

Clarke laughs loudly and Lexa smiles bigger, proud of herself for making such a pretty girl laugh.

 

"I know a place that makes the perfect coffee for conversations in town," Lexa says and Clarke humms as she buries her face on the taller girl's neck. 

 

"Oh yeah? Where?" 

 

"My apartment." 

 

Clarke laughs again and leaves light kisses on Lexa's perfect jawline. 

 

"Well then, I want you to show me." 

 

Lexa toys with her keys in her free hand as she walks to her motorcycle, the other one holding Clarke's. The blonde asks her where is her car parked and Lexa just smirks as she keeps walking until they reach the spot where she left her Ducati. 

 

Lexa wishes she could've taken a picture of the blue eyed girl when she saw her vehicle. 

 

"Lexa, you're out of your mind. I am not getting into that thing ever in my entire life." Clarke says as she shakes her head, Lexa laughs and gently takes one of the girl's hands. 

 

"Do you trust me?" She simply asks but the blonde doesn't look at her. Lexa cups her cold and soft cheeks with her hands and makes the girl look into her eyes. She asks again. "Do you trust me, Clarke?" 

 

Lexa gently moves her thumbs on the skin of Clarke's face and after a few moments, the blonde nods hesitantly. 

 

"Good. You can tell me if it gets too overwhelming okay? Maybe I can call one of my friends to come pick us up." 

 

Clarke smiles at how sweet the green eyed girl is with her. She wonders if she is like this all of the time. 

 

"Okay," Clarke agrees. "Do you have an extra helmet that I could borrow? Or something?"

 

Lexa bites her lip as she climbs to sit in her motorcycle. "I... I never wear one." 

 

Clarke just stares at her, and Lexa sighs.

 

"If you change your mind I could call you a cab Clarke, just... I don't want you to be uncomfortable or do something you might regret later." 

 

Lexa rubs the back of her neck and is too distracted trying to think of a solution, and also getting ready to hear the words "okay," or "yeah I want you to call me a cab," to notice that the blonde is now sitting behind her and wondering how is she supposed to wrap her arms around her waist without making Lexa uncomfortable or holding on too tight for the girl to move her arms and drive. 

 

"I don't think I'm doing anything I will regret ever in my life." Clarke says on her ear at the same time she moves her arms inside Lexa's leather jacket to wrap around the girl's waist. 

 

Lexa smirks as she brings her motorcycle to life. She's already used at the vibrations, but the girl behind her obviously isn't and Lexa can tell by the soft gasp that left her mouth. 

 

"Hold on tight." Lexa says and feels the girl nod against her shoulder. 

 

And with that, she speeds off down the street, she can feel Clarke's arms wrapping strongly around her body every time she turns to the right or left or moves around the cars to get faster to their destination. Lexa hopes Anya won't be home today because she doesn't want her to scare the beautiful blond girl off by telling embarrassing stories of Lexa's childhood. 

 

When Lexa finally parks her motorcycle in her apartments parking lot, she notices how big Clarke is smiling at her. 

 

"That was probably the biggest adrenaline rush I've had in my entire life," Clarke says as Lexa helps her to get down. "Can we go for another ride?" 

 

Lexa laughs loudly as she takes the excited girl's hand in hers. When Clarke doesn't pull her hand away, Lexa releases the breath she didn't know she was holding. 

 

"Sure," she answers the girl question. "But maybe not tonight." 

 

Clarke gives her a playful pout as Lexa calls the elevator. 

 

"How about I drive you home tomorrow morning?" Lexa asks as she waits for the elevator to come down. She turns around to look at the blue eyed girl to find Clarke smirking at her. 

 

"What makes you so sure that I will leave in the morning?"

 

Lexa can feel her cheeks and ears burning with embarrassment. She opens her mouth to apologize for making assumptions but no sound comes out. A few seconds later, Clarke giggles, she giggles!, and presses her soft lips against Lexa's. 

 

Lexa closes her eyes as soon as Clarke started kissing her. And they didn't break apart until the ding sound the elevator made pushed them out of their bubble. Lexa smiles shyly at Clarke and rubbed the back of her neck again, Clarke already noticed is something the girl makes when she's nervous, as they get inside the elevator. 

 

"What floor?" Clarke asks laughing softly when she notices that Lexa is not making any effort to press a button. 

 

"Oh, uh," Lexa stutters as she feels her cheeks burning again. "Fifth floor." 

 

She relaxes when Clarke hugs her and kisses her cheek. 

 

Lexa tosses her keys on the table and throws her jacket to the couch, she asks Clarke if she really wants a coffee or just water, or maybe some more alcohol. 

 

"Water will be fine," the blonde answers. "I don't want to be too hungover in the morning." 

 

Lexa nods and tells Clarke to sit wherever she wants and maybe even turn on the tv. She comes back with two glasses of water in her hands and finds Clarke sitting in the couch just waiting for her. She hands her the water and sits next to her before drinking almost half of her glass. 

 

"I think I owe you an explanation," Lexa says and looks at the beautiful girl in front of her. Clarke shrugs.

 

"If you don't want to share it with me, I don't really care Lexa." 

 

Lexa shakes her head. "When I was born, my parents thought I was a boy," she begins. "There's still some pictures of me in family albums with short hair and dressed all in blue and green, not that I really mind, I still get dressed with the same colors," Lexa laughs and Clarke gives her an encouraging smile. "However, when I was like 3 years old or something I started to experience some real pain in my lower parts and obviously I told my parents and they took me to my first doctor appointment since the checks up when I was a baby," Lexa takes another sip of her water and continues. "That's when they discovered I was intersex." 

 

Lexa looks at the blonde hoping she won't find any sign of disgust or something. Clarke just gives her another smile and tells her to go on. 

 

"That pretty much is," Lexa says. "Is not that interesting." She tries to joke and makes Clarke laugh. 

 

"So you have a..." The blue eyed girl begins. 

 

"A penis. Yeah. That's why they thought I was a boy when I was born." Lexa rubs the back of her neck again. "If you... If you want to go running out of the door, I won't be mad Clarke." 

 

Instead of answering, Clarke leaves her now empty glass in the coffee table and moves closer to the nervous girl next to her. She takes her hands and leaves a short kiss in her spongy and soft lips. 

 

"If you think I care about you having a penis you're so, so wrong," Clarke says and gives Lexa a smile. "You're just as attractive as I thought you were when I first saw you. Thank you for trusting me with your past." 

 

"Is not like I had a choice you know? You already saw what you did to me in that dance floor," Lexa jokes and laughs when Clarke playfully hits her shoulder. "Okay, sorry, maybe that was too much." She says and looks at the blonde. "So, what do you wanna do now? We could watch a movie or something. Are you hungry? I can order a pizza." 

 

Clarke humms for a second as she tries to make herself look like she's considering her options, but when she sees Lexa is getting up from the couch to maybe grab the tv remote, she grabs her arm, makes her sit again and without a word, straddles her lap. Lexa's eyes are wide, wide open as she stares at the breath taking beautiful girl sitting on top of her. 

 

"I don't want to do anything of what you said," Clarke says as she begins to gently kiss the brunette's throat. "What I want, is for you to kiss me like you did back at the club." She whispers in the girl's tiny ear and smirks when Lexa releases a whimper when she gently bit her earlobe. "And I don't want you to stop this time." 

 

Lexa closes her eyes when she feels Clarke's lips on hers again. She gently traces Clarke's bottom lip with the tip of her tongue begging for entrance, and both of the girls moan at the first, not so shy contact of their tongues. Lexa grips the couch with her hands as she tries to fight her instincts of grabbing Clarke and pushing her under herself. She can't do that. She just met her. And she doesn't want to scare her off because she really, really is enjoying this make out session. 

 

And as if Clarke could read her thoughts, without breaking the contact of their mouths, she blindly looks for Lexa's hands and just like she did back at the night club, she places them on her hips. 

 

"You can touch, you know," she says and Lexa lets out a soft laugh that makes Clarke smile. 

 

"Sorry," Lexa whispers as she opens her eyes again. "I'm just, I'm not used to this." 

 

Clarke pecks her lips once more and cups her strong jaw. "Used to what, beautiful?" 

 

"Hey, I should be calling you that," Lexa jokes. "Used to having such a pretty girl in my lap." 

 

"You... You've never...?" 

 

"Oh no, is not like that," Lexa says knowing what Clarke was about to ask. "I just, I've only had one partner in my life and we're not... We haven't been like this in years." 

 

"Been like what?" Clarke asks and stares into Lexa's green eyes. 

 

"Like this. You know. Kissing and stuff. We normally just call each other, do what we have to do, and then, she argues with me until we see each other again. Is stupid, I know." Lexa sighs. 

 

"Is not stupid," Clarke tries to comfort the girl under her. "Maybe she is stupid for not taking the time to kiss you." 

 

Lexa laughs.  

 

"Well, maybe." 

 

"She definitely is." Clarke says and brings their lips back together. 

 

Lexa is not sure for how long they've been kissing but she's aware of her little problem coming back when she feels Clarke grinding down on her body. She couldn't help but moan inside her mouth when their centers touched. 

 

She pulled away from the kiss to take a deep breath and as she felt Clarke grinding on her lap again, Lexa moved her hands to the girl's ass and stood up from the couch. Clarke whimpered and wrapped her legs around Lexa's waist to keep herself from falling. Lexa crashed their lips back together as she made her way to her bedroom. And this is when she hopes it isn't as messy as she thinks she left it before going out with her friends. 

 

Lexa opens her bedroom door by pushing it with her hip and once inside, she gently leaves Clarke in the middle of her bed. Lexa stands there as she looks at the girl making herself comfortable against the pillows on her bed. 

 

"What are you waiting for there?" Clarke asks as she bites her lip, and begins to unzip her red dress. 

 

Lexa quickly takes her shoes off and climbs on top of Clarke careful to rest her weight on her hands. Clarke wraps her legs back in the place where they were before around Lexa's waist, feeling the growing bulge against her stomach, and brings her down for another kiss. 

 

The green eyed girl is not sure when or how she ended up only in her tight black boxers, she guesses it was because she was too into kissing Clarke back to notice she was taking her clothes off. She breaks their kiss and opens her eyes. 

 

"You're beautiful," Lexa whispers as she gently takes off Clarke's dress looking at the girl's face for any discomfort. She nearly moaned when she saw Clarke's boobs on full display for her. "Really, really beautiful." 

 

The red dress ends up in the same place as the rest of their clothes. 

 

Lexa whimpers when their naked chests touched, it has been a while since she was this close to someone, and she eagerly kissed Clarke again when she felt the blonde's hands in her back lightly scratching her shoulder blades. Lexa tangles her fingers in the soft blond hair of the girl underneath her body, still careful to rest her weight on her elbows. 

 

Clarke ends the kiss just to mumble, "do you have condoms?" Against Lexa's lips. 

 

It took Lexa a few moments to realize what the girl under her was saying. Lexa feels like she's in heaven. 

 

"I... I think so, yeah," Lexa says nodding as she opens her eyes. "Let me go check in the bathroom, I'll be back in a second." 

 

Clarke nods and watches as Lexa disappears from her sight only to come back with a single package in her hands a few seconds later. Clarke's blue eyes travel down the girl's body stopping at her very toned stomach and for the first time tonight noticing the tribal tattoo decorating her strong arm. 

 

Lexa sits on the edge of her bed and looks at the beautiful girl laying in her bed. 

 

"This is actually the last one of the box," Lexa says with a chuckle and shows it to Clarke, maybe expecting the blonde to check it herself like Costia always does. "I guess I have some luck today." 

 

"Oh baby, you're about to get lucky," Clarke jokes and winks at the brunette. "Put it on, I'm so ready for you." 

 

Lexa takes a deep breath trying to calm herself down as she hears the blonde moving in her bed, probably taking her last piece of clothes off. With shaky hands Lexa brings the condom to her mouth to tear it open with her teeth. She quickly takes her tight boxers off as well and just when she's halfway done with covering her painful hard shaft with the latex, she realizes they have a very bad problem.

 

"Shit, Clarke," she says turning around to look at the blonde who has her hand between her legs already touching herself. Lexa moans at the sight. Clarke looks at her with eyes full of lust and excitement. "It's... The condom is broken." 

 

Clarke whines and Lexa notices her glistening fingers as they come out of her center to rest next to her other hand in her soft stomach. "Are you serious?" She asks. Lexa nods and avoids to look at Clarke's eyes. 

 

"Yeah... I'm-I'm sorry," Lexa takes off the useless condom of her erection. She knots it and throws it to the little trash can in the corner of her room. Lexa picks up her boxers from the floor and it's about to put them back on when Clarke gently calls her name. 

 

"Lexa, wait," Clarke says and grabs Lexa's wrist to keep her from moving. "We... We could still do something if you want. I really want you." 

 

The brunette opens her mouth but no sound comes out. She really wants to hear the blonde moaning her name and she already thought of something they can do. Lexa nods and lays on her side next to Clarke both still completely naked. Lexa gently cups Clarke's cheek and closes the distance between their lips again. 

 

"Lexa... please," Clarke whispered when she felt the girl kissing and gently biting her neck. Clarke reached down and grabbed her hand to guide her where she was aching to feel something. Lexa moaned when she felt the wetness with the tip of her fingers, she can feel her erection throbbing for attention, but she pushed her needs aside and kept kissing Clarke's neck and softly caressing her center. 

 

When Lexa began to tease her entrance with her middle finger Clarke closed her eyes to fully enjoy the sensations Lexa was gifting her with. When Lexa's finger finally entered her Clarke felt the girl biting her pulse point to keep herself from moaning at the sensation of being inside the blonde. Clarke pulled at Lexa's hair to bring her back up to kiss her once again. 

 

Lexa kissed her back, and when she gently entered Clarke with a second finger stretching her just sightly, the blue eyed girl pulled away from the kiss to let out a throaty moan that sent shivers all over Lexa's body. Unable to keep herself from moaning this time, Clarke throws her head back and grabs a fistful of sheets when she feels Lexa fast moving her wrist. Clarke can't bring herself to be embarrassed for feeling so close already. 

 

"You're so warm, beautiful," Lexa whispers in Clarke's ear as she keeps the quick movements of her wrist. "I love it." Clarke's breathing is becoming labored and is getting harder for Lexa to move her fingers in and out, a clear sign that the girl is close to the edge. 

 

Clarke comes with a silent whimper and Lexa can feel the new wetness coating her palm as she gently moves her tired fingers to help the girl come down from her high. When Clarke clenches around her one last time, Lexa pulls her fingers out slowly but doesn't remove her hand from Clarke's center. She cups it and Clarke closes her legs suddenly feeling a little shy as she opens her eyes to look at the green eyes that she can feel staring at her face and chuckles softly. 

 

"That... That was amazing," she says. "Thank you," Lexa nods and gives her a smile. 

 

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," the brunette gently pecks her lips once more. "Can I..." Lexa begins to say but she stops herself afraid she'd make the girl in front of he uncomfortable. 

 

"What?" Clarke asks as she lays on her side as well. "Hey, tell me what you want," 

 

"I just wanted to know if I can, uh, taste you." 

 

Clarke nods without hesitating and can feel herself getting turned on again just by thinking about what Lexa wants to do to her. She's going to be the death of me, Clarke thinks, and little did she know Lexa was thinking exactly the same. 

 

"Do... Do you want to lay down or..." Lexa says and Clarke lets out a soft whimper as she gets what Lexa is saying. 

 

"You lay down this time." The blonde answers and can see how dark Lexa's eyes are. Definitely not the same shade of green she saw when Clarke first met her at the bar just a few hours ago.

 

Without another word, Clarke climbs until her knees are on both sides of Lexa's head. Lexa couldn't resist the moan that left her mouth when she saw the smoothly shaved wet center so close to her mouth. Clarke looks down just in time to catch Lexa closing her eyes and then she felt her warm tongue on her still sensitive center.

 

Clarke held on the headboard when her she felt her legs starting to give up. Again, it didn't took too long for her to cum. Just a few minutes of Lexa gently cleaning her up with her tongue, and then when the girl underneath Clarke sucked on her very sensitive clit, she was a goner. 

 

Clarke collapsed on top of Lexa and both gasped when Clarke's thigh touched Lexa's sensitive and still hard dick. Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath as Clarke began to quickly apologize. 

 

"It's okay Clarke, it will go away." Lexa smiles gently as she places some wild blond hair back behind Clarke's ear. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." 

 

And that's when Clarke realizes that there's only one thing that will satisfy her tonight. She doesn't say a word as she looks at Lexa's green eyes and reaches down with her hand to grab Lexa's member. She watched as Lexa opened her eyes wide and her mouth to ask what she was doing, but her words turned into a whimper when Clarke suddenly sinked down all the way until Lexa was buried completely inside of her, she stared at Lexa as she took a deep breath as she felt the new sensations of being inside Clarke, she has never had sex before without a latex barrier, and placed her hands on Clarke's hips. 

 

"C-Clarke, shit," the brunette under the blue eyed girl whispers. "I..." 

 

"Shh, it's okay," Clarke says as she gets used to Lexa being inside of her. "I want to make you feel what you did to me," she says as she begins to move slowly up and down, no more than an inch, and watches as Lexa closes her eyes in clear pleasure. "I can worry about it tomorrow." 

 

Lexa only nods with her eyes still closed as she not to gently grips Clarke's hips, she can't bring herself to apologize for probably leaving tiny bruises, trying to make the blonde move. With a smirk on her face, Clarke doesn't move, instead, she places her hands on Lexa's chest to keep herself steady. Lexa groans. 

 

"Is there something you want, baby?" Clarke whispers and whimpers when Lexa applies more pressure on her hips. She hears Lexa groan again when the brunette realizes she has to speak and ask for what she wants. 

 

"I..." Lexa opens her eyes and finds Clarke looking straight into her eyes. "Can... C-Can you move, please" she asks with the softest voice she has ever used in her entire life. Clarke smiles gently at her and nods. Lexa sighs in relief. 

 

But what she wasn't expecting it was for Clarke to begin riding her, moving up and down as if her life depended on it. Lexa found herself moaning loudly as Clarke's inner walls squeezed and coated her hard member. She can feel already that very familiar tightness in her abdomen and she knows she's close. Lexa moans as she feels the pre cum already making its way out from the tip of her dick, when Clarke collapses again in her chest and hides her face in her neck, Lexa can feel her hips eager to move but she stops herself as Clarke tries to calm her breathing. 

 

But then she's whispering on her ear, "come on, I want you to cum inside me," and Lexa can't stop her hips this time. 

 

And with Clarke loudly moaning in her neck and her breath tickling her skin, Lexa feels her own release finally coming out from the tip of her dick as she keeps moving fast, closing her eyes as Clarke's walls squeeze her hard. Clarke tangles her fingers in Lexa's hair as she feels the warmth and almost tickling sensation of Lexa coming deep inside of her. A few seconds later, Lexa finally feels herself empty and closes her eyes completely spent. She has never came so much or so hard in her 24 years of life. 

 

Clarke softly kisses Lexa's neck and the tired girl under her can only bring herself to sigh. Clarke smiles gently and can feel Lexa's hand softly caressing her back. And when Lexa pulled out of her, a few minutes after, Clarke couldn't help but moan softly as she felt a warm trail of cum dripping out of her entrance. 

 

And before Clarke could notice, Lexa's soft hands had sent her into sleep, the most relaxed she has been since she can remember.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys it's me again. after this chapter the story line will focus more on the present part, the past will only be short flashbacks and we will see why they're so broken. So, let me know if there's anything you want to see, thanks for reading! :)

 

 

** Present:  **

 

Lexa has already pressed the elevator button when she realized her hands are not carrying the car seat she was supposed to get from her daughter's room, the one Marie has only used during the days Clarke has bring her to visit and this will be the first night she sleeps over, Lexa mumbles a quick, "shit," as she looks for her keys in her pockets with shaky hands. 

 

Lexa blames it on being nervous because her daughter will only be a few steps away from her tonight for the first time in the 7 months of her life. 

 

And totally not because she's nervous of seeing Clarke. 

 

Now with the car seat in her hands and Marie's diaper bag hanging on her shoulder, Lexa waits for the elevator with her phone in her hand. She feels it vibrating with a notification, but only after stepping inside the elevator she checks it. It's a picture from Clarke. She opens the message and feels her chest filling with pride and love at the picture of her daughter. 

 

In the photo, Marie has her hands near her mouth and a big smile is adorning her face, probably because Clarke is behind her phone making silly faces at their daughter, and wearing the Minnie Mouse dress Lexa bought her last week. Lexa was too busy watching the picture smiling like she just won the lottery and is only before she locked her phone screen, the elevator has stopped on the first floor already, when she noticed Clarke also added a, "waiting for mama!" Message with the picture she sent. 

 

Lexa was going to send a quick reply but after checking the time on her watch, 6:10 pm, she decides it'll be better if she starts the ride to her ex's apartment. Since she started working again at the law firm, she's always trying to get in time wherever she needs to go to. Not even close to her old self who was late even to her own exhibitions. If someone asked her if she missed her old self, she would probably say yes, she missed her careless life, but she knows she's in a better place now. 

 

She parks her car nearly twenty minutes later and quickly takes the car seat and her daughter's brand new and empty diaper bag from the backseat. Lexa nods at the receptionist and waits for the elevator as she fixes her tie, she didn't have enough time to change her clothes even when she lives really close to her work place. She drives her motorcycle everyday and always gets to her office in time, but she couldn't use her motorcycle this time if her daughter is coming back with her. She'll excuse herself for being a few minutes late to Clarke. 

 

Lexa wipes her free hand in her trousers, they're getting sweaty, and after clearing her throat, she knocks on the door. She waits for a few seconds, and the door is opened by her smiling ex. Lexa couldn't help but feel disappointed she's not seeing Clarke in a beautiful dress that would perfectly hug her curves already dressed for her date. The date she so desperately wishes was with her and not with a stranger.

 

"Hi Lexa," Clarke says and opens the door wider to let the older brunette in. 

 

"Hello Clarke. I apologize for being late." Lexa answers in a polite tone with a nod. She picks up the car seat again, she left it on the floor next to her feet to knock on the door, and steps into the apartment. She hears her daughter giggling somewhere in the apartment and her chest feels warmer immediately. "How was your day?" 

 

Clarke nearly laughed out loud with Lexa acting so polite. She knows the woman very well and the fact that she only is like this when she's nervous or dealing with stuff related to work. And her work hours are long over for today.

 

"It was good, thank you," Clarke answers. "Marie is in her room and waiting for you. She didn't even take a nap when I told her you were coming over." 

 

Lexa smiles. "Clarke, she's not even a year old yet." Lexa says. "She can't really understand you. She's still too young."

 

"Lexa, I swear she does!" Clarke says laughing as she closes the door behind her. "Go find out yourself. I'm sure she knows it was you at the door." 

 

Clarke looks as her ex lover leaves the car seat she was still holding, with a little smile on her face, next to the couch along with their daughter's diaper bag. Clarke knew that even when she told Lexa Marie's diaper bag was already packed she'd bring another one just in case. Lexa has always been like that, she prepares herself for the worst case scenario, and it's something that will never change about her.

 

Clarke walks behind her but they part ways when Lexa enters Marie's  bedroom and Clarke goes to hers to change into the dress she'll be wearing for her date tonight. From the baby monitor, Clarke can hear her ex talking to their daughter in the voice she only uses with Marie when she thinks no one can hear her, is soft, but playful at the same time. And it makes the tiny human giggle and babble like crazy every time, trying to answer to her mama's questions, like, "how was your day, little princess?" Or, "have you missed me? I sure have."

 

And it warms Clarke's heart, too. It makes her regret the decisions she took long time ago every time she sees how good Lexa is with their child. 

 

As the blue eyed woman changes into the black dress she has picked from her wardrobe and puts on a pair of earrings, she thinks about the woman on the room next to hers. Clarke can easily say a part of her heart will always belong to Lexa, because she's the mother of her child, and someone who changed her life in a good way. Even when her young self thought their relationship didn't have a future. And because she was the one who ended their relationship, she still thinks Lexa won't ever ask her out again. Clarke thinks Lexa won't ever forgive her. If only she knew how Lexa still feels about her.

 

She's only going on a date with Finn Collins because he's an artist just like her, they already share something in common, who has asked her out since she met him, and because her engaged best friends insisted she should go out and meet some new people. They said she only had a kid, and that she wasn't dead. Clarke shakes her head with a soft laugh as she remembers her friend's choice of words. 

 

Clarke tries to reach behind her back to zip her dress but she fails miserably. She sighs and looks at the clock in her night table, when she notices that is almost 7, she nearly runs to the bathroom to apply some make up. Finn is supposed to get here at 7 o'clock and she only has 9 minutes left to be ready. 

 

Clarke brushes her teeth and applies a little of red lipstick, mascara and checks herself on the mirror. 

 

And when someone knocks on the door, she nearly jumped and let her make up bag fall from her hands. 

 

She guesses her only option is ask for help with her dress to Lexa, who Clarke finds sitting in the couch with their daughter in her lap  standing in her thighs. The older woman pretends to bite on her little hands as Marie tugs on her mother's tie. The grin on Lexa's face and the giggles coming from their daughter makes her stop dead in her steps and admire the sight in front of her wishing she had her phone to record the moment, until she hears the knocking on the door again. 

 

Clarke didn't notice the big smile on her face disappearing when she remembers why Lexa is sitting in her couch. 

 

"Lexa? Shit," Clarke whispers as she walks in front of the pair of brunettes. "Can you please help me zip my dress?" Clarke tries again, and when Lexa looks up to her with her green eyes, the color she does not share with Marie, Lexa is looking at her clearly confused. 

 

"You want me to... What?" She asks and looks at the door when someone knocks for the third time in less than a minute, impatient asshole, Lexa couldn't help but think as she turns Marie around in her lap so she can be facing Clarke too. The little girl is too busy playing with her mom's strong fingers to pay any attention of what's going on around her. "I am sorry Clarke, I wasn't playing attention." 

 

"I said I wanted you to zip my dress, please, so I can go open the door." Clarke says as she stares at Lexa and Marie. She gently caresses her daughter's soft hair as she waits for her ex to reply. 

 

It comes a few seconds later. "I... O-Okay." 

 

Lexa gently sits their daughter against the couch as she stands up and she quickly wipes her sweaty hands, for the second time since she has seen her ex today, as she watches Clarke turn around and leave her back and white lace bra in full display. Lexa had to bite her lip to suppress anything that would have come out from her mouth when she not so accidentally touched her ex's soft back. Oh how she has missed Clarke's soft skin. 

 

"You look so beautiful, Clarke." She whispers before she can stop herself, but Clarke is already opening the door, and if she heard her, Clarke shows no sign of answering.

 

(She totally did. That's why her cheeks suddenly feel way more warm.)

 

Lexa sighs and sits back on the couch, she brings her daughter close to her chest to kiss her temple and to softly tickle her tummy. Lexa forgets for a second how she was feeling as her young child wraps her tiny arms around her neck. Lexa closes her eyes for a second as she enjoys Marie's baby shampoo and soap scents and her soft breathing on her neck, and she only opens them when she hears people talking. 

 

"Clarke, you look really beautiful, but we kinda have a problem," a voice she had never heard before says, Lexa thinks it must belong to Clarke's date. "Besides the fact that I want to rip that dress off of you right now, where we are going isn't as fancy as you might've thought..."

 

But before she could finish hearing the conversation, Lexa has picked her daughter up and placed her on her hip, she takes the pink car seat from the floor and goes inside Marie's room closing the door loudly behind her. 

 

She really thought she could handle the woman she'll always love dating someone else, but Lexa clearly isn't ready to hear someone speaking to the blue eyed woman, the same color of eyes their daughter has, like that. She's the one wanting to say that kind of words to Clarke. She wants Clarke and their child being there waiting for her to come back from work every day with homemade dinner, as much as she loves take out Lexa is already sick of it. She wants to take Clarke out on dates every Friday night after and hold her hand through the evening. And kiss her, especially kiss her. Lexa misses Clarke's lips so much it physically hurts sometimes. But instead, she's standing in the middle of her daughter's bedroom feeling like an intruder. 

 

Marie doesn't fuss as Lexa gets her dressed with a jacket, is cold outside, changes her socks and puts on a pair of pink baby shoes. Lexa sits her on the car seat and struggles with the belts only for a few moments before picking the car seat up as she looks for the diaper bag. It might be on Clarke's room, or in the kitchen or... _Found it!_ Lexa mentally highs fives herself. She hangs it on her shoulder with her free hand and she's outside the room and almost outside the apartment as fast as her feet could carry her when Clarke calls her name. Lexa was hoping she could leave without having to see or hear anything else. 

 

"Lexa, wait!" 

 

Lexa sighs as she turns around to look at the woman who still has her heart. She notices that Clarke has changed her dress, and even if she doesn't want to, Lexa wonders if the owner of the voice helped her to unzip it. Clarke is now wearing a pair of jeans and a blue blouse that make her eyes look ever more beautiful, and someone is now sitting in the same place she was in the couch before. It makes her jealousy and need to protect her daughter even stronger. 

 

"Yes, Clarke?" Lexa asks and looks at her sleepy daughter hugging one of her stuffed animals, the tiny raccoon Lexa bought for her before she was born.

 

"I... I will see you tomorrow before lunch?" Clarke asks as she tries to look for Lexa's eyes, she fails. 

 

"Sure. Have a good evening." 

 

"You too," Clarke says and gives her a smile, then she turns her attention to the almost sleeping baby. "Night baby." The blonde softly caresses her daughter's brown hair. 

 

With a nod, Lexa turns around to call the elevator. She hears the door closing behind her and she closes her eyes for a second trying to erase any thought of Clarke with the man sitting in her couch. 

 

It takes Lexa nearly twice of the time to reach her apartment as it usually does. And it is because she was carefully driving, probably some of her friends would have laughed at her because is the same woman who carelessly drives her motorcycle everyday avoiding to be seen by the cops, driving at 40 kmph because her daughter is softly snoring in the back seat. She didn't even turn on the radio so she doesn't disturb her sleeping daughter. 

 

When Lexa opens the door with her left hand, the right one was carrying the car seat with a very much still asleep Marie, she comes home again to an empty house. Lexa can't help but feel like maybe she has to get used to this, not having anyone to come home to for the rest of her life.

 

As she cooks dinner, she can hear her daughter starting to cry through the baby monitor Lexa placed in the kitchen counter. Lexa quickly dries her hands as she checks the chicken soup one last time and turning the oven off before going to Marie's bedroom. Maybe her daughter is crying because she woke up in a different place and not where she lives. The thought of Marie feeling uncomfortable in her apartment makes Lexa's heart break for the second time today. 

 

Marie calms down as soon as she is on her mom's arms though. 

 

"Hi sweet girl," Lexa carefully rubs the whimpering baby's back as she feels her daughter's wet cheeks on her neck. "Are you hungry?" 

 

The woman knows the baby won't speak to her _, yet_ she reminds herself, but that doesn't stop her from talking to her child in her arms. 

 

"Lets go eat, okay?" Lexa asks one last time as she turns the lights off and walks into the living room. She sits Marie in the carpet and brings her toys to where she can easily reach. The baby immediately picks up a stuffed teddy and plays with its soft paws. The crying a few minutes ago clearly forgotten. "I'll be back in a minute. I'll go get your smashed fruits and your milk." 

 

Feeding her daughter is way easier than she thought. Marie eagerly opens her mouth every time Lexa brings the spoon close, and she drinks her bottle without trouble as Lexa gently moves her thumb in her soft cheek. Lexa almost forget she has to eat too and that her soup is still waiting in the kitchen as she walks around her apartment trying to make Marie burp before she falls asleep again. 

 

Lexa doesn't want to let go of her child as the baby breathes on her neck. Lexa slowly walks to her daughter's bedroom but just as she is about to go in, she gets another idea. She gently lays Marie in the middle of her own bed and before leaving the room to go grab something to eat, she places pillows around the sleeping baby to keep her from rolling and falling from her bed. Even when Lexa thinks it won't take her more than 5 minutes to come back. 

 

She makes herself a cheese sandwich and an iced tea, because it'd be easier to eat that in her bedroom, she checks if the doors and the window in the living room are closed, Lexa then turns off the lights and hangs Marie's diaper bag back in her shoulder in case she needs something in the middle of the night. She doubts she will though.

 

Lexa softly closes the door with her foot and leaves her food in the night table. She turns on the tv but with the remote, she puts it on mute to avoid waking up her daughter. After closing the curtains, she strips off her clothes and changes into her pajamas. She removes the pillows from around Marie and Lexa sits in the corner of her bed as she opens the diaper bag to look for her daughter's sleeping clothes. 

 

An hour or so later, Lexa turns the tv off and brings her hand up to gently move her fingers through her daughter's soft brown hair. Marie stirs only a little but after rubbing her eyes with her closed fists, she yawns and goes back to  sleep. Lexa closes her eyes and leaves a kiss on her daughter's chest over her clothes and whispers, "I love you so much, baby girl. And I wish I could be with you every single day." 

 

And Lexa falls asleep on her side with her hand on her daughter's clothed tummy, completely relaxed as she hears her daughter's steady breathing, and forgetting about how nervous she is for this big case on Monday morning.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

** Past: **

 

 

When Clarke wakes up, she feels someone breathing in her neck and just for a second, she tries to remember where the hell she is and who is softly snoring behind her and whose arms are those around her waist. Of course she panicked until she remembered last night events, especially everything that happened after that motorcycle ride she had. A smile is in her face before she can notice it. 

 

She slowly gets out of bed obviously trying not to wake up the still sleeping girl. Clarke looks for her clothes around the room and gets dressed quietly, and after finding a piece of paper and a pencil on Lexa's desk under a very expensive looking digital camera, she writes a note to leave on top of the pillow she was resting her head on. Clarke knows she would hate herself for the rest of her life if she loses contact with Lexa, so after thinking it for a few moments, she also writes her phone number in the corner of the sheet. 

 

With one last look at the peaceful girl laying under the covers, Clarke closes the bedroom door behind her. And to her surprise, she finds someone sitting in the couch looking at her with an amused smile. Clarke feels her cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

 

"Who are you, blondie?" The woman asks as she sips her steaming coffee. "You're definitely not Costia. Hmm. Last time I saw her she was a brunette." 

 

Clarke clears her throat. "I'm Clarke. And you are?" 

 

But as Clarke waits for the answer coming from the woman in front of her, Clarke hears another voice she does recognize and this is when she wishes she could just disappear. 

 

"Anya, who are you talking to?" The man says as he comes out of the kitchen with a sandwich on his hand. The woman, Anya, just chuckles as she points to a very embarrassed Clarke. 

 

The laugh dies on Lincoln's throat as he realizes his new assistant is coming out of Lexa's bedroom. And it's morning. You don't need to be a scientist to connect the dots. Clarke Griffin stands there bitting her lip as she tries to comb her wild hair with her fingers. 

 

"Oh, hi Mr. Forest." Clarke awkwardly says looking at her new boss. "I... I most certainly wasn't expecting to see you here." 

 

But Clarke wasn't expecting to hear her new boss laughing with the woman next to him. 

 

"It's okay Clarke, we can forget this happened. I'm sure we all have been in this situation once in our lives." Lincoln says as he sips on his coffee. "I'll see you on Monday, please be there to open up on time okay?" 

 

Clarke nods and says nothing. She awkwardly waves her hand as a goodbye as she grabs her purse and jacket from the table. And before someone can speak to her again, she leaves the apartment quickly closing the door behind her and breathes again, not even noticing until she calls the elevator that she was holding her breath after the short talk with the not so strangers sitting in the couch. 

 

It wasn't until Clarke was sitting in the subway when she realized she hasn't called one of her friends. She hopes they're not too worried or mad at her. She did have the best night yesterday. 

 

She tries calling Raven first but her phones goes to voicemail, she figures the girl is probably busy with a car on her shop. Is Octavia who answers right away. 

 

"Holy fuck Clarke! One more hour and I was going to call the police!" The girl says and Clarke couldn't stop the laugh coming out of her lips. "And you are laughing! Where did you go yesterday! We leave you alone for ten minutes and you literally disappear!" 

 

"Octavia, I think I just did the walk of shame." Clarke whispers praying that the old woman sitting next to her didn't hear her words. The lady doesn't look up from her newspaper but Clarke tries to ignore the laugh that come from the woman sitting next to her. 

 

And now is Octavia's turn to burst into loud laughs. "Keep talking please, don't stop there Clarke." 

 

Clarke sighs before she tells her best friend the story of how she met Lexa at the bar, she leaves a lot of details, not knowing if the girl who she spent the night with would be comfortable if she shares her secret. 

 

And now is when Clarke remembers she has to go somewhere before going home. 

 

"Octavia, I have to make a quick stop before I go home." Clarke says remembering she really needs to buy a Plan B, even when she knows she definitely shares a connection with Lexa she knows she is not in the best place to raise a child yet. 

 

"No way Clarke, Bellamy is coming over this weekend and you need to help me clean the apartment! You know he will only be here for Thanksgiving before going back to Irak." 

 

Clarke sighs. She can still take the pill tomorrow, right?

 

"Fine. I'll be there in 10. You better have breakfast ready for me, please." 

 

\\\

 

If it wasn't because someone was loudly knocking on her bedroom door, and the intense sunlight hitting her face, Lexa wouldn't have woken up. She would've hugged Clarke tighter and continued to sleeping against the blue eyed girl's chest. But when Lexa opened her eyes and moved her arm, she found her bed empty and cold. She opened her eyes, and it was only then when she realized she was alone. 

 

The loud knocking on the door made Lexa groan as she rubbed her eyes and sit on the edge of her bed. She grabs the boxers and sport bra she was wearing last night to get dressed. 

 

"I am awake, Jesus!" Lexa says as she opens her door to find Anya with her fist in the air ready to knock again. "What do you want Anya?" She asks. 

 

"First, please open your window, God you room stinks of sex." Anya says as she pinches her nose. "Second, please get dressed." 

 

Lexa rolls her eyes. 

 

"And then what, mom?" She answers but does what her friend is asking. 

 

"You're just pissed because your blondie left." Anya says as she sits in the corner of her best friend's bed. 

 

"Her name is Clarke, An." Lexa replies as she puts on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt from her college days. 

 

"And she left before you were awake." Anya says as she looks at her friend. "Are you going to call her back?" 

 

Lexa looks at her rolling her eyes once again. "And how will I do that? I don't have her phone number." 

 

Anya sighs before she grabs the piece of paper from the pillow. Lexa's eyes widen before she tries to steal the paper from her friend's hand. 

 

"Give me that, Anya!" 

 

" _'I hope I can see you again...'_ " Anya fakes a higher voice as she reads the note and ends up laughing at Lexa's concentrated face as she still tries to get the paper. "Hey, if you tear it you will lose the number!" 

 

"Shut up and give it to me!" 

 

"I'm sure that's what blondie said last night." Anya laughed but winced in pain when Lexa slapped her arm.

 

"Anya!" 

 

\\\

 

It was Clarke's lunch break and she was biting her sandwich sitting in her desk when she heard a voice she honestly thought she'd never hear again. After waiting an entire week to hear from Lexa, she gave up on waiting for a message she thought she'd never receive. Instead, she spent her free time with her friends, especially with Bellamy, the man she considers as her older brother. This morning was tough, cause they had to drive him to the airport hoping they can see him again in six months. 

 

But now the girl is here, talking to her boss about something Clarke can't really understand. 

 

"Don't act like you're mad at me because I'm here late." Lexa says as she looks at her friend in front of her. "God, will you take a look at the pictures? You're going to love them." 

 

"Lexa, I've been waiting for you since 9 am." 

 

Clarke sees the green eyed girl rolls her eyes. She takes a bite of her tuna sandwich as she stares at Lexa and her boss. It's 2 pm. Lincoln has been waiting for almost  6 hours. If she were her boss now, she would be pissed too. 

 

"I am here now!" 

 

"The exposition is this Saturday, how are you expecting me to accept your photos now and reject the other photographers?" Lincoln asks with a calm voice as he looks at his friend. Lexa tries to make him take the envelope in her hands in which he knows is where her pictures are at. "Lexa, the exposition has been ready for almost a month now. You're always late, and I know you're my friend, but you can't just keep doing this. You're amazing, yes, your work is impressive, but..." 

 

"... I am irresponsible. Fuck Lincoln, I know. I just... this will be the last time, I swear." Lexa says trying to ignore the few people that are starting to look at them, probably trying to get her friend to accept her photographs in the middle of the gallery wasn't the best idea. "Please I... I need the money Linc." She whispers. 

 

Clarke can see Lincoln pinching the edge of his nose and taking a deep breath. She also sees he finally takes the yellow envelope and she releases a breath she didn't know she was holding. Lexa looked completely desperate but now she doesn't. There's even a little smile on her face as she wipes her forehead. Maybe she was sweating because she was nervous, Clarke thinks as she finishes her sandwich. Now she needs to brush her teeth or otherwise, her breath will kill innocent people. But when Clarke is looking inside her purse for her toothbrush and toothpaste, a soft voice coming from behind her surprised her. 

 

"Hey," the voice says and Clarke turns around, her eyes meeting the pair of green eyes she was hoping to see since she left the girl's apartment. "I'm sorry I haven't called you, I've been busy with the photographs... and editing them, and... and I know it's not a good excuse but..." 

 

Clarke chuckles. "Lexa, it's fine. At least you're here now." 

 

The girl in front of Clarke visibly relaxes. "I wanted to stop by a few days back, Lincoln told me you're his new assistant." 

 

Clarke nods. "Yeah, I've been officially here for a week now." She offers Lexa a shy smile which is returned immediately. 

 

Lexa clears ver throat and wipes her hands in her trousers hoping Clarke won't notice how nervous she still is around her. "Would you... uh, would you like to get some coffee tomorrow?" 

 

Clarke smiles again and nods. "Yes, I'd love that. How about at my lunch break?" 

 

"That sounds awesome." Lexa grins.

 

//

 

Clarke saw Lexa more times than she can count in the past weeks. She sees her everyday at the gallery with her boss talking about the exhibition and the ones they're planning for the upcoming months too. Clarke even heard Lexa telling Lincoln she's gonna take a quick trip to New York next month to bring the best picture for him. Clarke thinks Lexa has the best job in the world. 

 

Their coffee dates quickly turned into dinner dates to places Clarke had no idea existed in the city. They were not expensive places, but the lasagna she tried in a small Italian restaurant was even better than the one she had when she was young in an expensive restaurant where her mother used to take her. She really loves every place Lexa has showed her. Clarke loves when Lexa is the one in charge of driving, because she gets to climb in the back of her motorcycle and feel completely carefree. 

 

They didn't kiss again until two weeks after they started with their lunch dates. Clarke found it cute how nervous Lexa got around her, often cleaning her sweaty hands or rubbing the back of her neck, or even avoiding her eyes sometimes. It was late at night and Lexa was dropping her off at her apartment when Clarke finally joined their lips, only to feel just like she did the night they met. Loved. And excited. 

 

Clarke remembers Lexa giving her a shy smile after their lips separated. Clarke laughed at her and gave her a hug before the girl disappeared into the dark night, Clarke listening to her motorcycle's engine with her heart beating loudly in her ears. She knew she had it bad. But she couldn't care less, because she's sure that Lexa cares for her too. 

 

It was Wednesday and Clarke was coming back from sharing her lunch break with Lexa in a picnic the brunette set up for them in a park near the gallery. Clarke has had a smile on her face the whole time she was with Lexa, especially when she was sitting with her back against a big tree with Lexa's head in her lap. The girl looked so relaxed with her green eyes closed that Clarke just had to comb her wild hair with her fingers, only to lose the track of time as she heard Lexa's breathing. 

 

"Oh!" The girl suddenly said opening her eyes again. "I almost forgot, I got a letter for you at my place the other day." 

 

Clarke looked at her confused. "Uh?" She asked, not entirely sure of what Lexa was talking about. 

 

"Just hold on, lemme find it." Lexa said and she poked her tongue out in concentration as she looked for a piece of paper inside the little basket she brought with their food. She finally found it and she gave it to Clarke's awaiting hands. "Wait! Don't open it yet. You'll need a pencil." 

 

Clarke couldn't believe what her eyes where reading. Lexa just handed a note with "Will you be my girlfriend? Circle the answer." written. At first, she laughed. Cause this could easily be the most cutest thing Lexa has done for her in the weeks that she has met her. But when she saw Lexa looking at her with sadness in her eyes, she quickly closed the distance between them and brought her in for a kiss. 

 

"Of course I'll be your girlfriend, you idiot." Clarke whispered against Lexa's lips and the girl let out a breathless laugh. 

 

"God, I thought you were going to say no." Lexa said as she rested her head in Clarke's lap again. 

 

"Would I spend time with you every day if I didn't like you?" 

 

Lexa shrugged. "No?" 

 

"Of course not," Clarke laughed and Lexa closed her eyes again, avoiding the sun. "You better take me out soon now, girlfriend." 

 

"Your wish is my command, girlfriend." 

 

\\\

 

The gallery was a success. And so was the following one two weeks later. Every single photograph was sold and Lincoln decided to invite everyone for drinks to celebrate such a successful night. Clarke was wearing her favorite blue dress that, according to her friends, matched her eyes. She hasn't told anyone yet that she and Lexa are dating and she wanted to do it tonight until she saw how drunk her best friends were. 

 

Clarke couldn't stop herself from looking at her girlfriend at every single moment she could today. Lexa was wearing a black suit with a blue tie, the exact same color of her dress. They laughed together when Lexa picked her up because they definitely didn't plan on wearing matching clothes. Her girlfriend looked amazing, and she seemed to be so happy all night talking with other photographers or costumers. Someone even asked her to be the photographer on their wedding day and Lexa couldn't be happier. Clarke saw how much Lexa loves what she does for living. 

 

It's been almost 2 months since the night she met Lexa at the bar. The same bar where they're now. Clarke hasn't and won't drink any alcohol tonight, and saying that she was surprised was an understatement. She always enjoys a glass of orange vodka but tonight the smell of the alcoholic drinks her friends and the other people around her were drinking, made her feel a little nauseous. And Lexa, being a good girlfriend, decided to only drink club soda with her. 

 

"So," Lexa said, leaning her head down a little so she could speak right into Clarke's ear. "What do you say if we go to have some Italian food tomorrow night again?" 

 

Clarke's stomach growled, making both girls laugh for a few moments. 

 

"I'll take that as a yes then." Lexa says with a smile. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a second okay? And then, you're gonna dance with me." 

 

Clarke nodded and she smiled too when she felt Lexa pressing a kiss on her temple before leaving the table. 

 

Clarke didn't notice her girlfriend's best friend looking at them interacting with each other until Anya spoke. 

 

"You're good for her, you know." Clarke looks up from her phone and into the girl's eyes. "I've never seen Lexa like this, just so happy and we've known each other since middle school." 

 

Clarke blushes. "She's special." She says softly and not sure if Anya even heard her. 

 

Lexa comes back a few minutes later and she sits next to Clarke again, wrapping one of her strong arms around her waist under her jacket that she handed to Clarke after they left the gallery. The blue eyed girl sips her soda again and rests her head on her girlfriend's shoulder for the rest of the night.

 

\\\

 

The next day, they had sex again after their date. Clarke woke up to Lexa still being half on top of her and breathing in her neck. A smile was on her face immediately as she began moving her hands up and down her girlfriend's back, slowly waking Lexa up. Clarke couldn't help but let out giggles when she felt her neck being kissed. 

 

"Morning." Lexa said with a hoarse voice sending chills all over Clarke's body. 

 

Clarke joined their lips in a passionate kiss that was quickly becoming something more until her stomach growled loudly, making Lexa pull away to look at her with an amused smile. 

 

"Someone's a little hungry." Lexa said in a teasing voice that made Clarke blush and try to hide her smile. Lexa pecked her lips once more before getting up from the bed to grab her clothes, leaving her back on full display, allowing Clarke to see the marks her short nails left there last night. Now dressed with her boxers and shirt from last night she turns around to look at her girlfriend, who was looking at her biting her bottom lip. Lexa groaned. "Don't do this to me, I'm trying to focus on bringing you some food." 

 

Clarke laughs. "I'll be waiting." 

 

Not even 5 minutes after Lexa went to make breakfast, Clarke started to feel nauseous again. She closed her eyes for a second trying to avoid this feeling, but when her nose caught the smell of bacon in the stove, she had to jump out of the bed and run to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach on the toilet. 

 

And that's how Lexa found her nearly 15 minutes later. Clarke looked up at her with worried eyes and that's when they both knew they needed to go to the doctor soon.

 

She was pregnant. 

**Author's Note:**

> uh uh. first time writing something like that oops. i apologize if is terrible haha  
> lemme know what you think? :) 
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr! iwish-iwas-besideu  
> (and i might be rebbloging some stuff related to this fic haha)


End file.
